Congratulations on becoming a new parent! Your life is about to change in all the best ways. Pregnancy is a beautiful and demanding process that will require much of your partner in order to sustain this new, precious life. Your partner will experience significant physical and emotional changes. She will need you by her side to navigate this journey and it is crucial to prioritize your relationship during this time. Here are 6 tips to help you support your partner during pregnancy. 

1. Listen. 

Now I know this sounds simple and silly but this tip can be a game-changer in your relationship. Pregnant women experience various physical and emotional changes throughout their pregnancy. It can be difficult to keep up when it seems like your partner is feeling something new every day. Take time to listen to her; don’t just listen to solve a problem but listen to understand. Give her your full attention when she is speaking, put your phone down or turn off the TV. Allow her to vent about the discomfort she’s feeling or allow her to share her excitement over those first little kicks. Educate yourself about the different aspects of pregnancy and ask her questions to show your interest in what she is experiencing. She will greatly appreciate it and it will bring you two closer together!

1. Attend prenatal appointments when possible.

There are many prenatal appointments throughout pregnancy. From weeks 4 to 28 of pregnancy, your doctor will want to see your partner every 4 weeks. From weeks 28 to 36, your partner will have checkups every 2 weeks. From week 36 until she delivers the baby, there will be weekly checkups. That’s a lot of appointments! If and when you can, make it a priority to accompany your partner to these appointments. Though some visits may last just a few minutes while others may be much longer, carving time out of your busy schedule to attend these appointments will make your partner feel supported and like you are in this together.

1. Take a birthing course with your partner.

Knowledge is power and proper education on pregnancy and birth can eliminate fears of the unknown. Taking a birth course will prepare you for everything that will happen during the birthing process. Look for a birth course that includes techniques on how you can support your partner through labor. There are many different laboring techniques and positions that include a support person. Being knowledgeable of these tools will give you a significant role to play during labor and will let your partner know that she is not in this alone. Think of it like a team sport and you are working towards the goal of bringing your new baby into the world! She can’t do this without you! Taking the same training as your partner will ensure you are both on the same page when it comes to your expectations of birth. 

There are many in-person and online birth courses to choose from. Online birth courses are great for busy schedules because you can go through the content at your own pace and at times that work best for you and your partner.

*Bonus tip! If you take an online birth course, schedule times to go through the content together and turn it into a date night! Order your favorite foods, get cozy on the couch, and learn about the miraculous adventure of childbirth!

1. Allow time for rest. 

Sustaining a life within your womb is no small feat! Alongside all the beautiful and exciting moments, pregnancy can really take a toll on a person’s body. Allow time in your schedules for rest. This can be literal rest like naps or sleeping in, or it can mean not packing your calendar too full with activities. Especially in the first and third trimesters when the physical symptoms of pregnancy are more extreme, you will want to make sure your partner is taking adequate time to rest. Remind her that it is okay to say “no” to some activities if you feel her schedule is running her ragged. Freeing up time in your own schedule will help, too. Though you won’t be feeling the physical burden of pregnancy, you can still benefit from rest and downtime with your partner. 

1. Offer help to lighten her load.

An incredibly helpful and tangible way to support your partner through pregnancy is to reduce her workload where possible. There will be times when your partner is full of energy and motivation to nest in preparation for the arrival of your newborn baby. But, there will also be times when she will struggle just to complete simple household chores. Simple or routine tasks can feel daunting and overwhelming when you aren’t feeling your best. Try taking on a few extra things around the house like chores or running errands so your partner doesn’t have to worry about it. If you have other kids, offer to take the kids to the park for an hour so your partner can squeeze in a nap, or offer to do the bedtime routine so she can have the night off. Many moms feel like they are supposed to have it all together and will find it extremely difficult to ask for help. Your partner will be especially appreciative of your help with day-to-day tasks if she doesn’t have to ask for it. See a need, fill a need!

1. Understand that she is new to this, too.

You may be feeling a little nervous or unprepared but know that your partner is likely having those same feelings! Even if this isn’t your first pregnancy, adding a member to the family will always come with new challenges. Communicate openly and honestly about your feelings. This will help both of you empathize with the other person throughout this journey to childbirth. It may seem like she has it all together but she probably has questions, hesitations, and nerves about becoming a new parent, too. Also, be sure to share your excitement as well. When you see a cute outfit at the store or think of something you are excited to do with your new baby, share it with your partner! Sharing your excitement will reassure her and remind her that all the discomforts she is experiencing are totally worth it as you wait in anticipation of your new arrival!

*Bonus tip! Send your partner encouraging messages throughout the day. Maybe it’s something interesting you read on our blog, a note of appreciation for carrying your child, or a message asking how she is feeling. Taking a moment out of your day to let her know you are thinking about her will go a long way!

Pregnancy is a transformative journey for all parents, not just mothers. There are physical and emotional highs and lows that each of you will experience. Showing up and actively participating in this pregnancy will make you a better partner and parent. Hopefully, these tips will help you better support your partner throughout pregnancy and strengthen your relationship as you begin your adventure in parenting!

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